Slow It Down
by zenigame
Summary: "I can feel myself slipping away, Ichigo!" She raised her index finger and pressed it harshly against her temple, "And there's nothing I can do about it... I keep forgetting things, forgetting names of the children at the nursery and to take my pills..." Rated M for sexual content and upsetting scenes.


**A/N: Hello everyone! This is my first song fic and I hope you all like it. Its based off The Lumineers song, Slow It Down and I strongly recommend you go listen to it because it's just amazing!**

**Warning: This fanfiction has slight sexual content in it and scenes that may be triggering for people with self harm and obsessive compulsive disorders. Please read on at your own discretion.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any copyright material for the song used in this fanfiction. I gain no profit and do this purely for entertainment purposes.**

~#~

I feel her filth in my bones

Wash off my hands 'til it's gone

The walls they're closing in

With velvet curtains

Some love was made for the lights

Some kiss your cheek and goodnight

Lift up a red high heel

Lock up your doors with steel

They're makin noise in my street

My blinds are drawn i can't see

Smashed in my car window

Didn't touch the stereo

~#~

Standing at the bathroom sink, Ichigo furiously washed and scrubbed his hands, trying to wash away the filth, while the light snore of Rukia was heard from the neighbouring room as she slept within the confines of their large bed. It was rare. Rare to hear her sleep peacefully for once, especially since Ichigo had worked a late shift at the building site and he had not been home in time for her usual bedtime.

Pulling off his shirt and dropping his dirt covered trousers in the wash basket, he carefully lowered himself down on the cheap, lumpy mattress and rolled over to capture Rukia within his arms.

He knew what he was getting himself into the very first time her saw her, sitting in an old rundown bar at the dodgy end of town. He had seen the pearly white scars that donned her wrists from across the room, so he approached her and started conversation. She gave him a skeptical look, however the conversation quickly moved into a natural pace while Rukia offered to buy him a beer. The alcohol soon caught up to them and before they knew it, they were slow dancing to the fast paced songs that blew through the dust covered jukebox. He leant in and asked her if she wanted to get something to eat, to which Rukia replied with yes, but only if he was paying.

He pulled her from the bar and said that he was going to buy her whatever the hell she liked from the diner across the road. She found it odd that this strange orange-haired man had taken a liking to her, especially when she had plucked up the courage to wear a sleeveless shirt that night. However she was glad that at that unexpected moment, the man she would find herself to love, had made the first move in that shabby bar.

They sat in the dimly lit and rather unhygenic diner and discussed their past and why they had become accustomed to the 'low-life'. That night, Ichigo learned that her favourite food was strawberry jelly. That she had once got a magnet stuck up her nose at the age of nine. That she preferred winter over summer, purple over pink and chocolate over vanilla.

She was a well spoken and educated young woman, who had seemed to have gotten in with the wrong crowd. Up until the point when Rukia told him that she had never had any friends of any sort because she was homeschooled until her mother had died when she was twelve and her sister when she was fifteen. Her father had forced her into going to a public school in which she had gotten horribly bullied and refused to go anymore. She said no more about her father to Ichigo, not even now when they had been together for five years.

It was their unspoken vow not to talk to one-another about their families. It wasn't a good topic for either of them.

Time flew by and they soon confessed to one another and moved into the cheapest apartment they could find. Living off the barest of necessities they had learnt only to really depend on each other for the finer things in life. There was no fancy food or expensive furniture, only the stuff they could get donated by friends or the cheapest they could find in a thrift store.

It was a life changing moment on a cold winters day when Ichigo had come home from the building site to see her scrubbing away at the already immaculate tiles of their shabby kitchen. With fresh cuts on her arm that were occasionally getting splashed on by the bleach she was using to clean. Ichigo had to rip the scrubbing brush out of her red hands, to which she passed out from struggling against his arms for a good twenty minutes.

In a blind panic, he ran to his father's clinic on the upper-end of town and begged him, after 6 years of no contact, to help the girl in his arms. Isshin gladly complied and ordered Ichigo's two sisters to bring a gurney for Rukia. That night he slept in the hard, eroding waiting room chairs for his father to tell him that everything was going to be okay. However, when the sun hit the early winter sky Isshin had told Ichigo that he had booked a meeting with a psychiatrist at the hospital to do a full psychi evaluation of Rukia.

Two days later after Isshin had declared Rukia well enough to go visit the psychiatrist, Dr. Ukitake from Karakura District Hospital to do a full psychi evaluation on her. Ichigo sat in the waiting room while Rukia and Dr. Ukitake sat in a small office and talked. She later left the room to go to the neurologists to get an MRI scan done of her brain.

After precisely one hour and sixteen minutes, Dr. Ukitake came into the waiting room to talk with Ichigo. Since Rukia was declared independent at the age of seventeen, he was the next best person for Dr. Ukitake to talk to about her well-being.

He had told them that her current mindset was unstable and that she would have to take medication for the better part of her life. He had also told them that due to her mental instability, it was a miracle that she had not come to blows earlier or permanently damaged herself from it. Thanking Dr. Ukitake, Ichigo found Rukia at the nurses station and told her that they were going home now. She pulled her sleeves down over her bandaged arms and followed Ichigo out the front of the hospital.

On the way home she had asked if he was mad at her and if he was going to leave her, to which Ichigo angrily replied with that he is never going to leave her, unless she really wanted him too. They stopped off at the local pharmacy to get Rukias prescription and then slowly got into their everyday routine once again.

~#~

Ichigo was woken with an empty spot next to him. With a groan he rolled over to see when his bedmate was. The morning sun hit him like a ton of bricks while he cracked a single eye open to look at the second-hand alarm clock on the bedside table. 5:45.

"Ah, shit. Rukia!" He called out to get a muffled reply from the bathroom.

Seconds later Rukia came out, busying herself by towel drying her short, dark hair.

"Good morning!" She said while planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Why the hell are you up so early?" Ichigo asked, "And did you take your meds last night?"

"Orihime called and said she needs some help at the daycare, so I said I'll spend the day there and help out."

"And?"

Rukia looked at him, "And... Thats it..."

"Damn it Rukia! You know I can't be here every night to force them fucking pills down your throat!"

Startled by his sudden change in tone and demeanor, Rukia turned her back on him and mumbled, "B-because they don't help me..."

"They do!" He cried out while rolling out of bed and walking around to face her, "They do Rukia, you just don't see it..."

His tone quietened down slightly with his last sentence while Rukia looked up at his with dull, violet eyes.

"Give me your bag." He stated. She complied and handed it over. Ichigo looked inside the small compartment and took out her pill case. He looked through the tinted amber plastic and asked, "How long haven't you been taking them?!"

She looked down and quietly said, "A few days."

"Just go." Ichigo stated while pushing her bag back into her arms. She quickly took it and ran out of the apartment.

Sighing, Ichigo knew that wasn't the best way to handle the situation. Thanks to his short temper, Rukia was most probably going to spend the night at Orihime's and not take her medication out of spite at him.

He felt like his love for Rukia was made for the light, the way she kissed his cheek every night, even when he was late home. However he should have know that something was wrong when she didn't wake from her slumber last night to welcome him home. Rukia had lived in darkness ever since her mother and sister had died, he had figured out that much from her. Now she was detaching herself from him, not physically, but mentally. She was slowly drifting away and if she didn't take her medication, Ichigo knew that he would never get her back. And that's what scared him the most.

Rukia had been his moonlight on the darkest of nights. She had made his endless showers of rain stop, suddenly and yet leaving that beautiful smell behind after a summer shower. Her smile would welcome him home after the worst of days and make him feel so at ease. And Ichigo wanted to be the same for Rukia, however he had this feeling in the bottom of his stomach, that he was just a burden on her mind. Just another worthless pawn in her never-ending game of chess, in which she was the queen.

~#~

Taking two steps at a time, Rukia bellowed down the apartment building stairs. After reaching the ground floor, she couldn't stop the tears from running down her porcelain cheeks. 'Get a hold of yourself Rukia!' She repeated in her head as she wiped the tears away and steadied her rapid breathing. She had lied to Ichigo when she had said that she didn't take them because they didn't help, Rukia had actually forgotten all about her illness and simply just forgotten to take the medication. She didn't want him to know about her quickly deteriorating mental health. It would crush him.

Her eyelashes chilled slightly in the cool morning breeze as she left the apartment building and started walking towards the daycare. Fifteen minutes later, Rukia reached the colourful building just in time to help Orihime open the wooden gates that stood proudly in front.

"Good morning, Orihime!" Rukia called out cheerfully as she approached the red head.

"Ah, good morning Kuchiki-san!" She replied with a large smile until noticing Rukia's tear stained cheeks and her face dropped, "Have you been crying?"

Orihime's tone suddenly turned into her 'caring mother' voice while taking Rukia's hand.

"Oh, yes..." She laughed nervously, "I just got into a fight with Ichigo. It's nothing though!" Rukia waved her hand dismissively in front of her face.

"Fighting this early in the morning isn't 'nothing', Kuchiki-san!" Orihime pulled her through the gates and into the building while mumbling something about making them tea.

Rukia explained why her and Ichigo had been fighting while Orihime looked at her with worried eyes. She knew Rukia would be fine when she was with the children, however away from them she did worry about her health. Noticing her worried look Rukia said, "I understand if you don't want me to work today, Orihime. I'll go home if you like?"

"Oh no! I need the help today and I know that you're perfectly fine when you're with the kids." Orihime smiled, "Maybe it's time you and Kurosaki-kun have children! It might help?"

Almost choking on her tea Rukia exclaimed, "I don't think me and Ichigo are in the right place to be thinking about children right now!"

"Hmm, it's just a thought." Orihime said while collecting the teapot and cups as children started to get dropped of by their parents at the front gate.

~#~

After showering and composing himself, Ichigo finally left for work at the building site. After leaving the apartment building, he could already tell it was going to be a tough day thanks to the fight with Rukia and the hot summer sun already burning his bare shoulders.

Taking the long route to the building site that passed the daycare, Ichigo stayed at the other side of the road and slowed his pace while slightly hidden by the parked cars. He saw Rukia in the front yard of the daycare, dressed in her favourite long-sleeve white shirt and pale blue shorts. Ichigo smiled at the scene as she held a bug in her hand to show the collection of children who had created a semi-circle in front of her. She smiled at their young faces while placing the bug in a boys hand.

She was called over by the teenager that worked on weekends and he thought it best if he started walking again. As he arrived at the building site he was welcomed by the familiar faces of Uryuu and Chad, the only two people he had stayed in contact with from highschool.

"Yo." Ichigo greeted while pulling on his UV vest.

"Hello Ichigo, why the long face?" Uryuu asked while pushing up his glasses and tightening his grip on the clipboard he held in his hands

"Why do you think?"

"Another fight with the Rukia?" Chads voiced boomed through the building site.

"Yeah..." Ichigo said defeatedly.

"What's happened this time?" Uryuu asked, his eyebrows rising at the question.

Ichigo told his closest friends about Rukia not taking her medication while the two nodded understandingly.

"If she's causing you so much trouble, then why are you still with her? You're a good looking guy who takes all Uryuu's girls away from him at the bar. That's gotta mean something?" Chad while uncharacteristically smirking.

"'Cause I love her." Ichigo simply stated while he started to shovel some dirt into a bucket.

"What're you going do then?" Uryuu asked.

"Dunno, I might take her to go see my dad, he might knock some sense into her." Uryuu and Chad agreed and conversed in general chatter until Yoruichi came walking over telling them that she doesn't pay the three of them to stand around and 'chin wag'.

~#~

"Hey, Rukia!" Momo shouted to get the raven haired woman's attention.

Giving the beetle that she was holding to a boy, Rukia walked over to Momo who was stood at the doorway of the daycare.

"Hi, Momo." Rukia smiled at the teenager.

"Do you want to come to the new bar that just opened up on the east of town with me and Orihime tonight? She told me about your fight and I think you need a good night out!" Momo looked like she was about to burst with excitement while she waited for Rukia's answer.

"Yeah, sure." Rukia did her best to smile, however she felt quite unsure. "I'll have to go home and get changed first though."

"That's fine! Just meet us at the bar!"

Rukia spent the rest of her day playing with the small children until tired looking parents came to collect them for the night. she was stood waiting with

She waved goodbye and collected her bag to go home. On her way she pondered the thought of going to see Ichigo at the building site, however quickly dismissed the thought as she remembered the way he spoke to her that morning.

Finally reaching the flat at around seven, Rukia knew Ichigo wasn't going to be home for a few more hours. So she took the liberty of taking a long hot shower and getting herself ready for the night, she picked out her best dress and her only red heels that she owned.

While applying some mascara in the bathroom mirror, Rukia heard the front door open and close accompanied with a sigh and Ichigo grumbling about how hot it is outside. As he walked past the open bathroom door, he glanced in and saw Rukia dressed in her short black dress stood in front of the mirror. Then just carried on into the flat.

Maybe he didn't notice that she was dressed up so nicely? Maybe she could sneak out while Ichigo is falling asleep? But no, obviously he would notice.

"Why the fuck are you dressed up?" He asked while walking back to look in the bathroom with a red high heel within his grasp.

"I'm going out." Rukia said with new found confidence.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"Nope. You're not." He deadpanned while turning away and locking the door with its steel chain.

She threw the mascara tube in the sink and stormed out of the small room.

"Yes I am! And you have no say in the matter!" She picked up her shoes and attempted to put them on when Ichigo took her small wrists within his grasp.

"I do have a say and I say that you are not leaving this apartment tonight." His tone dripped in anger, yet he managed to keep a hold of himself.

"I-I... You're hurting m-me..." Rukia managed to get out before mustering all her strength to pull her right hand free and slap Ichigo across his cheek.

Stunned at her actions. Ichigo suddenly let go of her left wrist and took two steps back. He could feel his cheek burning while Rukia stared at him with watery eyes.

"Rukia..."

"No! Stop it!" She barked, "Stop everything! Stop saying my name! Stop being so nice! Stop loving me! And stop pretending like everything is going to be okay!"

The raven-haired woman stumbled over to their small coffee table and picked up the tab-end filled ashtray and hurled it across the room in Ichigo's direction. Luckily for him, his reactions were in tip-top shape and he managed to jerk to the left in enough time so that the glass flew by his head with a good few inches to spare.

"What the fuck, Rukia?!"

"I said stop saying my name!"

"B-but..."

"Stop!" The tears finally spilled over her lids and races down her porcelain cheeks, "I can feel myself slipping away, Ichigo!" She raised her index finger and pressed it harshly against her temple, "And there's nothing I can do about it... I keep forgetting things, forgetting names of the children at the nursery and to take my pills..."

The end of her sentence got quieter and more shaky while she brought up her fists and pressed them hard against either side of her head. Seeing her like that broke Ichigo's heart in two. She looked so vulnerable and broken, and there was nothing he could do. He knew that she was slowly fading away and that one day it would be worse than this and he wouldn't be able to let her get it all out by throwing stuff at him. By letting her hit him or shout at him, because there would be no end to it.

Rukia's knees suddenly gave way and she fell to the carpeted ground. Her fisted hands supported her front weight as she cried. She cried and cried while mumbling words such as 'I hate myself', 'Leave me alone' and 'You're better off without me' until suddenly there was a slight pressure on the small of her back. Looking up through her dark bangs, Ichigo was sitting cross legged next to her with his hand pressed gently against her back.

Her violet orbs connected with his deep chestnut ones and more tears escaped her lids. Ichigo gently pulled her so that she was in a fetal position while sat in his lap. Her hands grabbed his shirt and she buried her head into his chest.

"Shh..." Was all Ichigo could say while Rukia cried it all out. He rubbed small circles on her lower back and tried to comfort her.

"Ichigo?" A muffled question came from his chest which he didn't catch.

"Yes?"

"D-do you hate me...?" Rukia looked up with her tear stained face and puffy red eyes. "A-are you g-going to leave me this time?"

"No. And I'm never going to leave you."

He pulled her in and his lips gingerly touched hers. Understanding the notion, Rukia pushed back with more haste and the kiss soon turned into a passionate battle between tongues. Rolling her over onto her back, Ichigo hovered over Rukia's petite form and planted short kisses along her jaw and chest.

"P-please don't ever leave me Ichigo..." She whispered while struggling for air.

Ichigo pulled back from her heated skin and replied,

"You know I won't unless you really want me too."

He connected his lips back to hers and pulled her into a sitting position. Rukia's legs automatically wrapped around Ichigo's strong abdomen as he stood up and placed her back down into their bed which was about a step away.

His kisses moved down her neck, while he took time nibbling on the spot behind her ear which he knew got her all riled up, he pulled her back dress down and the moonlight illuminated her bare chest. His breath hitched and said, "You're beautiful."

His breath tickled her bare nipple as he moved his lips closer and closer towards them, while his calloused hands moved up her smooth thighs. Moans jeered him on as he rubbed the silky fabric that covered her heated core.

"Ichigo..." Rukia said while pulled his face back to level with hers, "I love you."

"I love you too."

The night grew old and they weren't distracted by the noise on the street or the usual breaking of car windows while they made love. Soon enough the sun broke over the horizon and streamed through the blinds that failed in attempting to cover the window.

~#~

Slow it down, Angie come back to bed

Rest your arms, and rest your legs

Act like you've been here before

Smile less and dress up some more

Tie up your scarf real tight

These boys are out for blood tonight

Slow it down, Angie come back to bed

Rest your arms, and rest your legs

~#~

"Rukia?" Ichigo whispered while poking her cheek.

"Mmm?" She sleepily tried to swat his hand away.

"I'm taking you to go see my dad and sisters today."

Her eyes opening at his words and she rolled over so that she was partly resting on his chest.

"Okay." She smiled sweetly at him while peking the tip of his nose with her lips.

As they showered and ate leftover pizza from two nights ago for breakfast, the sun was high in the afternoon sky when the couple finally left the apartment complex. Rukia called Momo from Ichigo's cellphone while they walked to the tram station and apologised for not going to the bar with them, to which Momo was fine with and asked no further questions.

After a few minutes of waiting, the tram rolled up and the couple boarded the packed vehicle. Ichigo stood holding the railing while Rukia hugged his chest for stability.

"You should grow a little Midget, then you might be able to reach the railing." Ichigo muttered into to her ear. She giggled then smacked him hard in the chest at the insult.

"Shut up Berryhead!" She retorted and Ichigo pulled her in for a kiss.

"Make me." He whispered into her and slapped her butt so that she jumped toward the automatic doors and out onto the platform.

They walked the familiar route to Ichigo's childhood home while the summer breeze blew Rukia's dress against her legs and her hand was held tightly within Ichigo's grasp. Finally reaching the Kurosaki house/clinic, Rukia got the familiar unsettling feeling in the stomach and her palms began to sweat.

Noticing her nervousness, Ichigo said,

"It's fine. I know it's been awhile since you last saw my dad and if it's any consolation, I'm shitting myself that he'll come jumping out and sucker punch me at any moment."

Rukia giggled at his statement and did feel slightly better at the fact that Isshin was more than likely going to either punch or kick Ichigo at any given time for not seeing them more often. So she took the initiative and pulled Ichigo closer towards the house and pressed the doorbell.

They waited and waited... and waited for quite awhile before a greying Isshin came to the door. He pulled the wooden door open and stood, staring at the two guests before saying,

"I thought you two moved away...?"

He looked almost... disappointed. Why? Yes, maybe it was because Ichigo hadn't called or visited them at all in the past three years. Or maybe because the same girl who was brought to his clinic covered in blood and unconscious was stood at his front door.

"Hey Dad."

"Hello Mr. Kurosaki."

Ichigo scratched the back of his head while Rukia respectively bowed in front of him. While straightening back up, they were both pulled into a bone-crushing hug by Isshin Kurosaki. The man who would welcome Ichigo home with a flying kick to the head, was very ally hugging the two people he thought had dropped of the face of the earth for the past three years.

Shocked at his actions, Ichigo laughed nervously and said,

"I thought you were going to punch me. Not hug me! Has time made you all soft you old goat?"

"Oh, well if thats how you want it son of mine!" Isshin pulled his fist back and hit Ichigo square in the face.

Rukia burst out laughing at the action and Isshin greeted her,

"Well hello Rukia-chan! It's been awhile since I last saw you. Has my delinquent son been keeping you all for himself?"

"Um... Well..." Rukia stuttered as he nervousness came back to her.

"No need to be nervous Rukia-chan!" Isshin took her by the shoulders and steered her into the house while leaving a twitching Ichigo on the doorstep. "Luckily for you, the girls are back from college for the week! So you can stay for a nice home cooked meal."

"Ah, thank you for your hospitality Kurosaki-san." Rukia said her thanks and bowed towards the older man.

"No need for the formalities, Rukia-chan! Call me Isshin." He waved off her thanks and guided her into the kitchen/diner.

A rich array of smells and sounds erupted into Rukia's senses as she walked into the room. It was the typical picture for the Kurosaki house. Yuzu was stood at the stove, stirring a massive pot filled with only what Rukia could think to be a great tasting stew. While Karin was sat at the wooden table with a sports magazine lay in front of her.

Both girls had grown up considerably in the past five years, each of them had made their separate way to different colleges to where Yuzu got a catering scholarship and Karin a soccer one. They had both gotten taller and their hair was longer. It was odd, both these girls were quite younger than Rukia, however it felt like they were moving on with their lives with such ease that it made Rukia feel like she was stuck. Stuck in her current predicament and unable to move forward herself.

And that saddened her, she was most probably stuck in this rut forever. Unable to move like she was in quicksand and sooner of later Ichigo would realise this and move on. He would find some beautiful woman and marry her, instead of staying with Rukia who would just be a burden for him.

A sad smile made it's way onto Rukia features while she took a seat next to Karin.

"Yo, Rukia." Karin shot a quick smile at her.

"Hello, Karin. How's college been?"

"Meh," She contemplated the question for a while, "It's okay. I complain about it a lot, however I don't actually mind it. And as long as it gets me away from this crazy man." Karin jerked her thumb in the direction of Isshin who was currently holding a newly awoken Ichigo in a sleeper hold.

"Good, as long as you're enjoying yourself." Rukia replied with a gentle smile. They conversed in easy conversation for a short while until Yuzu came over and set the large pot in the middle of the table.

"Dinner's ready!" She hollered out to the two men who were still fighting. They immediately stopped and ran over to their seats.

It was funny how they could suddenly put aside their differences and get along for the few short minutes of eating. Just before her sister had passed away, she had told Rukia that the way to a mans heart was through his stomach and Rukia had always lived by that rule. She had tried countless times to cook Ichigo meals in their small kitchen. Many times it had failed and they had decided to just go out to get burgers, maybe it was because of the value price ingredients or because Rukia had actually never been taught how to cook.

She shrugged away the thoughts and dug into her bowl of stew with vegetables on the side. And by God, had the food saints blessed Yuzu?! Rukia stuffed the food in her mouth like it was her last meal on earth, oh wait? When was the last time Rukia actually ate a full meal... She couldn't remember. However she wasn't going to let any of this stew go to waste.

By the looks of it, neither was Ichigo or Isshin. The two males ate with almost as much enthusiasm as her. Sooner, rather than later, the large pot was empty and each person at the table was rubbing their stomach in food contemptment. Ichigo reached out his hand and gently grabbed Rukia knee under the table, she jumped slightly at the touch and turned her head too her left where Ichigo was sat.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm great." She replied and sent him a sweet smile. She looked around and found that everyone else had evacuated the table, so Rukia leant up and pecked Ichigo on his stubble covered cheek.

"My Dad wants you to go talk with him in his office. Something about a check-up."

"O-oh, okay." She stumbled slightly with her words. Rukia was never fond of her check-ups with Isshin or Doctor Ukitake and since it had been around three years since she had last had one with Isshin, it worried her.

"I can come with you if you'd like?" Ichigo asked when he saw her nervousness.

"N-no, it's fine. I can talk to him by myself." She did her best to conjure up a confident smile, however it came out as a more sheepish one.

Nodding at her reaction, Ichigo stood up from the table and held out his hand for Rukia. Taking his hand, Rukia stood up and straightened out her dress before walking over to the glass doors that open up into the clinic. Why was she so nervous? Was it because she hadn't been taking her pills? Possibly so and the sweat on Rukia's palms was enough proof of that.

Five deep breaths later and a quick goodbye to Ichigo, Rukia hesitantly raised her fist and gave three sharp raps on Isshin's office door and a faint 'come in' was heard from the other side.

Rukia pushed the metal handle down and entered to small room. Isshin was stood in the far right corner looking at a brown file with the metal cabinet open in front of him.

"Is that my file?" Rukia half-heartedly joked.

"Actually is it, Rukia-chan." Isshin replied while shutting the cardboard file with one hand and rubbing his chin. "Early onset dementia."

Realisation hit Rukia like a speeding train. After learning about her illness a few months ago, she had failed to let Ichigo and Isshin know about her diagnosis. She did her best to learn about the disease herself, however she couldn't. As soon as she had read something about it, it would just go. Poof, just like that. It was getting harder and harder for her to remember things and her 'episodes' got more frequent as time went on.

"That's what they call it." She replied while sitting down on one of the plush leather seats.

"Ichigo told me that you haven't been taking your medication out of choice." He said while sitting down opposite the raven haired woman, "But we both know that's not the case." He declared.

"I-I can't help it..." Rukia tailed on, "I simply forgot."

"I know you can't help it, but why did you lie to Ichigo?" He questioned.

"I don't want to hurt him anymore than what I already have."

"And why's that?"

"B-because he's fragile." She confessed, "If he finds out how much more ill I'm getting, it'll ruin him and he'll change and get more worried about me. I-I just want the same Ichigo I fell in love with five years ago. Before all this happened."

She waved her hand beside her in a gesture to her health and Isshin completely understood. His wife did the same. Misaki kept her cancer a secret from the family up until three days before she died and Isshin understood why. She was content and accepted her fate by herself, some might see it a selfish however not wanting your family or loved ones to worry and change their way of living for you, Isshin thought, was one of the least selfish things a person could do.

You weren't thinking of yourself, neither are you asking for sympathy from them. It's hard to put it into words, however the last thing you would want from telling loved ones you're terminally ill is pity or change. And that's exactly what Masaki did and what Rukia is doing, they are not wanting to worry their loved ones by simply telling them their fate. They're letting them live their lives by not clouding their minds with their own worries.

"I understand."

Rukia looked up in disbelief, "You do?"

"Yes, now Rukia. I'm not going to tell you how to live your life or what you need to tell Ichigo, however one day everything might turn on its head and not turn out the way you would have liked." He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, "He'll find out and he might not react the way you want him too."

Rukia stood, nodded and understood his explanation, "Thank you, Isshin."

He smiled at the use of his name and stood up.

"You're very welcome, Rukia-chan." He smiled down at the petite girl and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, "Now remember to take your medication!"

He scolded her lightly before chuckling to himself, Rukia smiled to herself and walked out of the room.

The sun illuminated the clinic waiting room with a gentle orange glow. It reminded Rukia of Ichigo's hair and she giggled to herself.

"I haven't heard you giggle like that for a long time." His voice startled her and she turned around to be met by his strong arms encircling her waist.

"I was just thinking about how the sunset remind me of your hair." She replied while reaching up her small hand and ruffling his orange locks.

"Oh Lord help, you'll make a fool of me Rukia Kuchiki!" Ichigo exclaimed while tightening his arms around her body and pressing his lips to her neck he asked, "Do you have any cigarettes? This family stresses me out."

"I don't have anything left for you, besides maybe accompanying me in the shower when we get home...?" It was fun playing with Ichigo. His cheeks almost turned brighter than his hair, but before he could reply, Isshin's office door flew open and he stood in the doorway.

"I don't have the time to listen to you two act like lovesick teenagers in my waiting room, now go and make me some grandchildren!" He pushed the pair out of the clinic and back into the house to which Ichigo and Rukia decided it was time to start heading home. They said their goodbyes and thanked the twins and promised to return soon.

The pair walked hand in hand down the street, the sun was almost fully covered by the horizon and night was upon them.

"Ichigo?"

"Hmm?"

"Never leave me, 'kay?"

"Never."

~#~

And when she stood she stood tall  
She'll make a fool of you all  
Don't ask for cigarettes  
She ain't got nothin left for you

I never, she never, we never looked back  
That wasn't what we were good at  
And when it came to love  
We were not good enough

Slow it down, Angie come back to bed  
Rest your arms, and rest your legs  
Don't you frown when you're feelin like that  
Only love can dig you out of this

~#~

**A/N: Hello there, you made it the end so thank you! Reviews are kindly appreciated and I would also like to know if I should do another chapter. I have Morning Song in mind and have started outlining it. So go listen to the song and tell me what you think please! :-)**


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